Office Romance: HR's Role
By Andrea C. Poe

The workplace of today is what singles bars were to the 1970's, a great place to meet a mate.

Office romances are nothing new, but the frequency is. In our 24/7-work world where people spend more time at work than they do any place else, it's no surprise to find that intra-office romance is on the rise.

According to OfficeClick.com, a Web-based professional service and networking resource for administrative personnel, 66% of employees say they know of a relationship that developed on company time.

The fields most susceptible to office romance are media and entertainment, followed in order by marketing/communications, law and consulting, reports the same study. However, other industries are hardly immune. Office romance can, and does, occur just about everywhere.

This phenomenon can be problematic for human resource professionals. While HR is loath to step into what's widely perceived as a personal matter, the impact these relationships have on the workplace can force the issue. Office romances can be distracting and destructive, not only to the couples involved but also to colleagues.

OfficeClick.com found that only 29% of employees believe office romance is "perfectly appropriate and fun." That means nearly 70% of employees feel otherwise, indicating that intra-office dating can lead to personnel problems. In addition, hurt feelings, bumpy patches and romantic interludes can all interfere with work. In fact, according to OfficeClick.com's study, one half of respondents say that office romance is "a distraction that impacts productivity."

Although it's a sticky subject, one most HR professionals would rather not touch, the prevalence of intra-office dating makes the issue impossible to ignore. Without help from HR, supervisors and mangers are left adrift without guidance on how to handle relationships between employees. It's important to have a clear company-wide strategy so that there's no confusion.

Know Thy Company

The first step in dealing with office romance is to understand what's acceptable at your company. What flies at one may not fly at another. Every culture is different.

At one Seattle-based electronics firm intra-office dating is forbidden. The company is so unwavering in its desire to keep the workplace romance-free that when a couple begins to date, one or both are expected to resign. If caught dating, they are not reprimanded but summarily fired.

Some companies not only don't mind office romance, but encourage it. Take Southwest Airlines. 1,600 of Southwest's 26,900 employees are married to each other. Many of these couples met and courted while working for the airline. Southwest is so pleased to have had a role in these pairings that it has dubbed itself the LUV airline and uses LUV as its ticker symbol on the New York Stock Exchange.

Most companies will fall somewhere in between the two extremes. A recent study by Vault.com, a workplace and career center on the Web, found that 87% of employers have no problem with employees engaging in office romances as long as their work is not compromised.

No matter where your company is on the spectrum, you'll need to pen guidelines for employees, managers and the HR department so that when romances surface they're handled consistently.

Put It in Ink

Most companies do not have formal written policies on the issue of intra-office dating. In fact, Vault.com reports that 70% of the companies surveyed say their companies have no formal policy banning office romance. 17% say that although there's a policy forbidding it, it's not enforced unless work is affected. 8% of employers say that office romances are discouraged, but not forbidden. Only 5% have a formal policy prohibiting office romances entirely.

Not having a policy in place is a mistake. HR faces problems both when a romance is too hot and when it's gone bad. A company is laying itself open to both suits from disgruntled fellow employees and demoted or dismissed lovers. Written guidelines not only help direct supervisors on how to handle situations when they arise, but also serve as legal protection for the company.

Be realistic about what the company expects of HR, managers and supervisors in this arena and develop practical approaches to enforcing the policy. No one wants to be seen as big brother, watching over employees and their personal affairs. Should they be active, approaching couples who surface with policy reminders? What kind of leeway do they have in enforcing company policy? How should complaints from staff be handled? At what point must a chain of command be notified?

When penning policy, you'll have to straddle a fine line between too much and too little detail.

You don't want to include a generic paragraph that doesn't offer clear rules for employees to follow and for managers to point to when an infraction occurs.

Spell out what the company considers appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Take nothing for granted. What might seem like common sense to you may not be to others. The more concrete you can be the better. On the other hand, there is such a thing as too much information. You don't want so many disciplinary actions listed that managers lose the important power of discretion. Each incident will be slightly different so you don't want to override the judgment of managers on how each is handled. For that reason, not every infraction should have a pre-determined action as dictated by the company.

Choose those offenses most likely to negatively impact the workplace and be clear about what repercussions those behaviors carry. For each one indicate whether it merits a reprimand, a re-assignment or a dismissal. By clearly tying together cause and result, you'll compel managers to take strong action and protect the company legally in certain extreme cases.

Thorny Issues

There are three areas where office romance can blossom into major problems for the company

Adulterous Affairs

This may be among the most awkward, and one many HR professionals understandably shy away from. And that's probably the best way to handle a delicate situation that is more personal than professional.

However if you work for a company with headquarters in certain parts of the world, such as Japan and some Arab nations, you may find that you'll have to delve into this uncomfortable territory. For many foreign firms, adulterous intra-office liaisons are grounds for immediate termination.

Know what your parent company will and will not permit, and clearly communicate that not only to managers but also to employees in writing, preferably within the employee handbook so there's no confusion. That way you forewarn would-be couples and provide the company with legal cover should action be necessary.

On site

Intra-office romance can become a problem when relationships are overt. Amorous interludes can distract and disturb other employees. While there's probably not a direct role for HR in the handling of small interactions, HR should talk to managers about quashing any overt displays of affection that others find either irritating or non-professional.

However, the greater concern here is for inappropriate sexual behavior in the office, something that is more common than you might think. According to the Vault.com survey, many liaisons take place on company time. The study found that the most popular spot for an office tryst is in the boardroom, with 23% of those polled reporting it the best place for a rendezvous. Other popular company locations are the boss's office (11.4%), the copy room (10.3%) and the elevator (9.7%).

Be explicit about the prohibition of this behavior, before, during or after work hours. Let employees know what kind of penalty they face if they engage in this kind of activity on campus. Then, be sure that tools are in place to enforce the policy.

Supervisor/Subordinate

This kind of romance is potentially the most damaging to the company. When these kinds of romances fade, complex legal issues can arise as subordinate employees can claim they were pressured into relationships with their supervisors.

OfficeClick.com found that these kinds of relationships also have the biggest impact on the workplace because they are the ones most likely to lead to resentment among co-workers. When colleagues see employees dating managers they develop an impression of favoritism, justified or not. Prolonged, the study found that this leads to a general mistrust of management.

Some companies have policies in place, which call for the removal of one of the two employees from the work unit. Not a bad idea, but there are two caveats. One, that the company is big enough to accommodate a transfer to a different department. And, two, that the employee is willingly to make the transfer.

Other companies forbid these relationships outright, something that helps curb legal risks for the company, but infringes on individuals personal choices.

Many more deal with these arrangements on a case-by-case basis. The upside of this solution is that it gives flexibility to decision-makers. The downside is that it may make the company vulnerable to legal action should relationships be handled inconsistently.

How to deal with this can and should vary, depending upon company culture. However, handle it you must. It's an area you ignore at thecompany's peril.

Love Is Here To Stay

Office romance won't be going away any time soon. Put people together in the same space for long periods of time and it's almost inevitable that some paring is going to take place.

HR's role isn't to stop intra-office dating. Even if your company policy discourages it, human nature will win out, at least now and again. However, that doesn't mean you should throw up your hands. There's a role HR professionals can play in shaping and communicating acceptable behavior on company time.

More often than not, office romance has little negative impact on the workplace. But when intra-office dating goes bad, it can be very bad. By arming the company with policies infused with common sense you provide the framework necessary for keeping office romance from interfering with the main reason employees are in the workplace to begin with……to work.